Aretha Franklin said it best:
Why is it that when a person knows that you dislike something, they continue to bring it up no matter what? Even if they had been asked, on several different occasions, to not do this such thing, or say this such phrase, whatever. Why is that?
Person 1: Hey, guess what I made for dinner tonight? Spinach.
Person 2: But I hate spinach.
Person 1: Nonchalantly. Yeah, I knew that. I made it anyway.
Person 2: Well, what am I going to eat for dinner then?
Person 1: I don’t know, sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, I just got hungry for spinach and didn’t think about you.
This should be an incident reserved for people who don’t know any better, or have no feelings of guilt, or chivalry, or anything. This is what people do when they don’t think of anyone but themselves, when they don’t realize that words can hurt someone just as much as an action. Combine the two and it hurts just that much more.
A person can only take so much of one thing that makes them melancholic before they decide to do things that they would otherwise not do. Explanation: A person can only feel so upset and so sad by something before they decide to drink more, smoke more, cut more, eat more, whatever, and therefore hurt themselves in their own personal manner. People need to begin to understand that what they do and say does have an effect on the world around them, even if they don’t think it does, or don’t want to believe it does. Everything you say has effected someone or something in some way. Everything.
When you do something like that to someone, when you say something or do something in front of them that they otherwise asked you not to do, then that constitues a disrespect and disregard for someones feelings. That means, in the scenario above, Person 1 has to understand that they have hurt Person 2 in several different ways and therefore must deal with the fact that Person 2 will be upset in some way for several hours.
Person 2 has every right to get upset or angry, or whatever emotion that they wish to feel at this. They have every right to do what needs to be done in order to correct this error against themselves and their pride. They have every right to get up and leave, to say something, to do everything short of making a scene, in order to get their point across and make someone understand these things. Person 2 also have every right to dislike Person 1 and no longer respect them either.
If Person 1 decides that they wish to speak to Person 2, or they wish Person 2 to make dinner one night, Person 2 has every right to make exactly the thing that Person 1 would not want. It is Person 2’s right to do exactly to Person 1 what Person 1 did to them.
This is not without reason. Explanation: Person 1 should know what exactly it is that he has done to Person 2 and Person 2 has every right to teach him such a lesson by doing exactly that to him.
Person 1: comes home from school, work, jogging, whatever. Hey, what did you make for dinner tonight?
Person 2: Nonchalantly, just as Person 1 did to them. Steamed vegetables.
Person 1: No meat? No spice? No flavor?
Person 2: Vegetables have vegetables flavors. Enjoy them for what they are.
Person 1: But I hate vegetables.
Person 2: Oh sorry. Sits down to eat.
Now, Person 2 is only allowed to do this as often as Person 1 does it, unless they wish it done to themselves. Explanation: If Person 2 is disrespecting Person 1 because Person 1 has recently disrespected Person 2, then it is not a problem. If Person 2, however, is disrespecting Person 1 just to disrespect them, they cannot be entirely too upset when Person 1 does this exact thing to them again in the near future. Also, Person 1 in this situation is allowed to be just as upset as Person 2.
Respect is an essential part to living and to how the world functions on a basic level. If one person is disrespected, even in the smallest sense, then they have a right to feel melancholy, anger, whatever it is that they want to feel and retaliate in a similar fashion.
These are the Rules of Engagement: Respect, as I see them.